Alain de Botton the Swiss-born British author and philosopher said the following:
“Anyone who isn’t embarrassed of who they were last year probably isn’t learning enough.”
Although de Botton focuses on personal growth and self-improvement, the same principle can apply to teshuvah.
Imagine making major behavioral changes like
- More patience
- Less arrogance or more humility
- Increased compassion and empathy
- More gratitude
- A higher level of personal restraint
- Increased mitzvot observance
- A better utilization of time
to the point where it’s surprising, sobering, or even embarrassing to remember what you were like before.
This type of change is possible — if it’s what you desire.
And if you don’t desire it — but feel like you should — then ask G-d for a “full and complete desire” for the behavioral change in mind.
Yitzhak Sasson 